Monday, November 30, 2009

Selecting a Profile Picture

Ok, so I'm cleaning out my eharmony profile and closing out matches and I noticed there are a lot of really terrible profiles out there. And not just on eharmony but all over the internet! So here's advice from a geeky girl with only moderate social skills to all the geeks out there. Good luck on your journey! Please feel free to add your advice or give your opinions. Obviously, I'm no expert!

Just a couple of my thoughts:

Most Importantly -- Have a profile picture. It's that simple. Even a bad one is better than no picture in my opinion, but a good profile picture is best. If you're out there trying to meet girls, not including a profile picture just sends alarm bells ringing all over. I know personally I'm much more likely to read a profile if there's a picture, and not just one of Stewie from Family Guy or of your cat. I love my dogs, but I wouldn't put a picture of my dog as my primary picture. I probably wouldn't put it as a secondary picture either. So yeah, even if you're shy, take a frakking picture. The entire point is to get out there and meet someone so you can then retreat together to your fortress of solitude.

Get a friend to take a picture of you. It shows you that A) you have friends, and B) you don't get a weird zombie expression when you take a picture of yourself. I have friends that do this, and I'm talking to you guys. Seriously guys, I'll help you take a picture!

Don't hide your face. Doing what you might consider an artsy shot of your left eye, or a cool pic of you in sunglasses, or a picture of the back of your head is not the way to lure in women. Even if you have a fabulous left eye, it makes us wonder what what's wrong with the rest of your face.

Post recent pictures. As my friends and family can attest to, I don't actually age but most people do. While it might be tempting to put a younger, possibly thinner you on your profile, I think we'd rather see the real you and not be (bad) surprised when we meet you for the first time. If we're agreeing to eventually meet you, we're ok with what the pictures show us. Aim for something in the past year. Some websites say like 6 months? But since a lot of geeks don't like to take pictures, aim for the past year or two unless you've changed a lot in that amount of time. And with digital cameras, take a lot of pictures everywhere and then you can pick and choose the good ones for your profile.

Smile. I think nerds/geeks tend to be pretty self conscious and try to look cool and inscrutable in pictures. I would prefer someone who looked friendly. But don't overshoot friendly and fall into creepy guy smile. Example, this guy.

Sorry Teej, but you yourself said this was a creepy smile. :D
This picture would not make a good profile picture. I'm fine with the sword, I'm a giant nerd, but the stalker smile not the best. ;P But the composition does look weird b/c the sword is gigantic. perhaps a different pose?

Use a digital camera, not the camera on your phone. If we can tell it's a picture from your camera, don't do it. the pictures are often not really well focused or grainy or super yellow b/c of the settings(?). I don't know why, but they look bad. Also aim for natural light, looks less scary. As a nerd, we often don't like to venture out into the sunlight, but do it for love! :D If you don't have a digital camera (first of all, what kind of nerd are you if you don't own a digital camera?), again, find a friend and have them help you take a picture. This again goes back to the, get your friends to help thing.

Sharply dressed but breaks the get a friend to take a picture for you rule, and the outdoor lighting, and camera phone too.

Perhaps refrain from holding an alcoholic beverage in your hand. It may make you look relaxed and cool, but unless that's really the image you want to portray, I'd skip the drink. Also, being all red-eyed and drunk-looking is also not great. Maybe this is common sense, but honestly, you'd be surprised at how many guys look like lushes out there.

And one of my guy friends wants to add, don't use a picture with you and a herd of other people. Even if that picture of you and your bff is like the best picture you've ever taken, if you can't crop them out decently, use a different one. And I've read a lot of advice saying that don't use the picture of you and a billion of your platonic girlfriends. B/c even if they're platonic, we're wondering what they're doing there. Are they your sister? Niece? Nanny? Hotter than us ex-girlfriend?

Well I that's all I can think of for now. Hopefully this will help you at least with the Don't Do's of dating profile pictures.

Nerd friends, guy and girls, add your thoughts!

Two and a half years later, I post.

Well I think I may have found a purpose for this blog.

Since I have a personal blog for personal things, this one was languishing. I initially started it for a project for work, but my friend TJ has convinced me that I need to share some of my geek girl thoughts on dating. I have a lot of friends and I've talked and listened to their stories so maybe if we can all share our experiences, we can learn from them and be less spazzy overall.

Not that I'm an expert on dating by any means. But I think I know what kind of thing would scare me off, and I'll just share that info.