*I'm totally going to use the grammatically incorrect "they" instead of he/she etc b/c it's just too bulky. We need some non gender specific pronouns in English!
**Note, also English grammar isn't not a forte (I'm sure you've noticed this already) so if the above statement is incorrect, shut up b/c you know what I mean. :P
How to spot a bum:
Bums can be spotted b/c they generally share a couple of traits.
1) They are generally chronically unemployed or underemployed. The exception to this is that now b/c of the economy it is hard for people to find and keep good jobs, so if they were just laid off but before they had decent jobs that doesn't count. I'm talking about people who have never worked full time or always complain about how crappy and mean their bosses are right before they get fired for being lazy and incompetent.
2) Their mom still does their laundry (or housekeeping or grocery shopping or they still live at home and mom does everything for them). Yeah it's great having someone take care of you, but if they're an adult, they need to learn to do these things on their own. B/c if they don't learn, it's going to be you cleaning up after them in the future and that sucks ass.
3) You end up paying for everything. And I mean everything, food, movies, their rent. It's related to chronic joblessness but there are bums that work (even if it's a crap job) and they still seem to never have any money. I mean they have enough money to buy a vintage guitar that they can't play but they don't have the money for groceries. Basically being super irresponsible with money and credit is a bum quality.
4) They hate all of your friends and family and the feeling is mutual. This is a big deal. I mean sometimes your friends and family will be weird and not like someone for no reason but if EVERYBODY can't stand the guy, that's a problem. It's not all jealousy. It's probably b/c he/she treats you like crap and badmouths you constantly. Same goes for if they badmouth your friends all the time, obviously everyone sucks but they are pure awesome. (yeah right.)
5) They can't seem to finish what they start. People who have lots of awesome ideas but don't do anything about them and complain about why the world is so unfair to them or people who have been in community college for 10 years b/c "the class I need is always full." These are just symptoms of their larger problem which is bummishness. They can't finish anything b/c they're unmotivated and when things go wrong it's not b/c they didn't register for class on time after oversleeping, it's always the system and someone trying to mess up their life.
To sum up, what makes a bum? Callousness, disrespect for other people, and a lack of responsibly for anything in their life.
The ways in which they ruin our lives:
1) Sucking us dry of our money, energy, friendships, happiness.
2) Causing rifts between you and your friends and family.
Why do we stay with bums?
1) Because we're lonely and we think we can't do better. Maybe you haven't dated in a while and they happen to want you. Well technically they just want a wallet and a couch, it just so happens you're willing to supply both. Bums don't improve your self esteem, you're so much better than that. It's better to be single and happy than raising a man-child.
2) Co-dependency. Now this is a real psychology thing which I'm not qualified to discuss but I think that some people will cling to anybody b/c they can't bare to be alone. Please get help, you'll be happier in the long run.
3) B/c you've been with them forever and you love each other. Staying together b/c you've been together a long time is like a circular and non-logical argument. I say it's better to cut your losses and get out of there instead of wasting your youth, money, and energy on crappy people.
4) B/c they need your help. Dude, you do not need to be a white knight. You are not saving them. They can't be saved b/c they don't want to be saved. They're just using you and your foolish gallantry. Bums aren't people who've fallen on hard times, they generate their own problems, so you save yourself and move on. This also goes for people who think they can reform bums. Why would a bum reform when they can keep behaving like they are and get everything they want? It's stupid. You can't change people if they don't want to change. Quit kidding yourself.
How can friends intervene?
This is very tricky grounds. If your friend is the bum there isn't a lot you can do. I mean b/c if you try to warn the other person, they're going to think you're backstabbing them...well b/c you kinda are, no matter how much they might deserve it.
If your friend is dating a bum, you can try talking to them but likely they're going to be irrational and not do anything about it even though they probably complain constantly. I've tried staging interventions (we did everything but the sign!) and that didn't even work. So tread very carefully in this arena. Summation:
Being a bum is a non discriminatory problem. Geeks, jocks, goths, emo-kids, popular people can all be bums (probably there are more bum stoner-types and less bum overachievers though.) Just b/c someone plays Magic or watching anime does not qualify them as a bum. Being all of the above while watching anime and spending all their money on Magic cards does make them a bum.
So don't date bums, and if you're dating a bum, stop dating them. Go and find someone not crappy b/c you're better than that.
(same goes for crazy girls, don't stay with the crazy girls!!!!)
No comments:
Post a Comment