Outside Advice

Today's topic, outside advice. This refers to either solicited or unsolicited advice from friends and family about your relationship or lack thereof.

I know that most girls talk about their relationships with other girls. I know that some guys will talk about their relationships with friends that are girls...I cannot verify that guys do a lot of talking with other guys about their relationships though. I would guess that chatty guys, yes, guys like my husband, no.

Anyhow, regardless of the chattiness levels, there is always going to be advice. It's going to come from all angles, family, friends, coworkers, and sometimes random strangers on the street. Even if your mom tells you something, she might not be right, b/c she doesn't know all the details of your relationship or your life. Mother does not always know best. (Sorry mom!)

Friends and even best friends will mean well and may know you better than your family but they are also coming from a different perspective and with their own biases and prejudices. Don't let their weird hangups make you feel bad about the decisions you make.

If you work with a bunch of older ladies, they will be very interested in your personal life. Probably b/c they are bored. They mean well too. But they probably don't know you on a very deep level and probably just through the work version of you. They might try to set you up with children or friend's kids and it might work. It might not. They will give you advice, but again, take everything with a grain of salt and try to retain your sense of humor since sometimes they might have some pretty old fashioned ideas about how things work.

The important part is, it's up to you and your partner to decide if you're going to take it. Don't listen to how someone else thinks you should be conducting your relationship. If you guys want to have separate bedrooms, don't let someone tell you that's wrong. It's your life and your quality of sleep. Don't let someone tell you that you need to change your name. That's your name. Other people don't determine how good of a partner you are, you as a couple do. If you guys are happy, eff everyone else, this is YOUR life.

I realise this is rather hypocritical of me as a dating advice column but I think the lesson here is, listen to what works for you and ignore the rest. We're all different, and our relationships and expectations are different, so why would you want to be all the same?? That goes against the geek credo! :)

Ok, I'm outs.