Friendship after dating

I've been watching Big Bang Theory on DVD and just like real people, Penny and Leonard have to deal with life after dating.

Breaking up as was discussed in an early post sucks. Breaking up and having to see each other still can suck even more, but here's some tips to hopefully make that situation a little less awkward.

First thing is to give each other space. If you have invested a lot of emotion into this relationship, you need time to process the breakup. For friend groups, just hang out with other friends for a while. Don't push hanging out again too soon, it's just not going to help your roiling emotions. If your friends want you both to hang out with them and you're not ready for it, tell your friend they need to give you time and if they can't, your friend is a douche b/c they're not doing anybody a favor.

When you do meet up again, don't make it like dates. Don't go hiking together alone. Why would you do that?! Go in a group so you have other people to talk to. And you don't have to chatty buddies with your ex, but if you're ready, you can talk to them, just avoid conversation topics that are too personal or too emotional. It's really not the time to discuss why your ex is a bastard.

Don't smear your ex's name to all of your mutual friends. Maybe non-mutual friends is ok. But bashing your ex to your mutual friends puts them in a awkward position where they feel they will have to pick sides and if they remain neutral, you're going to think they're being unsympathetic. I'm sure they feel bad for you both, so don't make them pick sides b/c honestly, they might not pick you.

If you work together, keep it professional. You don't have to be best work friends or anything but unless one of you is planning on changing jobs or departments, you will need to learn to work together. Don't avoid needed communication, if you're adult enough to be in a relationship you should be adult enough to handle talking to your ex about something job related.

If you're in a gaming group with your ex, don't flirting with your other gamer friends. It's just not cool, and again, increases weirdness. I think treat your gaming group like if you working with the person, do what you have to get the mission completed. If one of you is a GM though, be careful that there isn't any unfairness created. Just like they shouldn't play favorites when you were dating, they shouldn't be dumping on your character b/c you've broken up.

All of these things might take time and if your ex isn't cooperating that won't help but if both of you are committed to being friends after, it is possible. Except it hasn't worked for me. :P

A list of other things that won't help:
Sending nasty emails.
Angry post break up sex.
Bringing up old arguments.
Dragging along brand new dates to meet ups.

So let me know how it goes and see if it works better than it has for me! :P Of course I'm of the mind that you really don't have to be friends with your exes either.