Find me a find, catch me a catch! (from a song I learned in 6th grade)
Matchmaking is an ancient tradition, generally performed by bored moms, meddling friends, and their ilk. For geeks, matchmaking can be very useful or can really really suck.
Generally in my experience, matchmaking has not been very successful. When I decided to start seriously try and date again, I asked pretty much everyone I knew if they knew anybody cool to try and set me up with. While I met and went out with several guys, I just didn't have chemistry with any of them, even though many of them were cool people and I'd be friends with them if I could handle having more friends. It seemed that friends of friends leads to more friends, not potential dating partners. Except in the case of the guy my mom set me up with. He was the son of my mom's friend's friend. I did not have super high hopes b/c my mom knows a lot of weird people, but doesn't really know what a nerd is (although all three of her children could be described as nerds). That date was possibly one of the worst dates I've ever had. Let me tell you that telling someone that she should hit her dog to improve his behavior is not a great start.
When you're set up by family: there are benefits to being set up by family. They care about you and want you to be happy...and if you move out and get married, they won't have to deal with your single ass anymore. The downside by being set up by your mom is what she thinks you need and want can be really different from what you need and want. Remember how I said my mom doesn't know what a nerd is? We'll she set me up with that guy b/c he likes animals (but he hits them, I guess that's what happens when you're raised in the jungle and had monkeys and deer for pets), and b/c he likes to stay at home and he's a "good kid". Omg, I thought I was going to die. Other than he liked pets, there was no common ground and he was super fobby. Fobby is fine some people but not exactly what I want in a date. My mom, being a fob, is ok with fobby. :P So beware of when your mom wants to matchmake for you.
When you're set up by friends: friends might actually be better than your mom for matchmaking, since your best friends are in touch with the real you, not the imaginary version they have in their head. Plus they probably know more people in the appropriate age range. The downside is, especially if they're nerds, maybe they only know a whole bunch of single dudes, which does not help when you're trying to set up other single (and hetero) dudes.
Something that can be awesome and then turn out to suck. Since matchmaking generally involves setting up two people you know and like, what happens if something bad happens. I'm not saying one bad date. No one is going to die from one bad date. I'm talking about like, BAD, like you get into a relationship and someone cheats, or turns out to be an a-hole or whatever. That can put the matchmaker into a jam b/c on a certain level, they were vouching for the decency of both individuals. I think if people agree to be set up, they need to try and leave their friend out of it after that...don't tell them all about this date and that date and what they do that's so cute, b/c what happens if it goes bad? You're putting them into a pickle. I mean, they try their best to find two compatible people and it's the responsibility of the two people to see if the relationship is valid.
If you're interested in getting set up (still after all this bad news) then I would start by asking friends, family, and coworkers if they know anyone who'd be willing to be set up with you. Not everyone wants to matchmake b/c of possible backlash but if you work with a lot of bored people they just might do it! It works better with people who know a lot of people...so you'll need to talk to someone social. Asking your roommate who also doesn't leave the house if they know someone to set you up with isn't going to be very useful, but asking your cousin who's super chatty and has billions of friends could be. And then prepared to go on a lot of dates...some will be good, some will be bad, and some will be very bad. It's the nature of the beast.
Professional matchmaking is an entirely different can of worms. I've read some stuff about professional matchmakers and I think you might have worse odds than asking your friends or going online and looking. Here's why I think so, b/c they still have a limited pool of people that they know. They still probably know more single guys looking for love than women, just like on most dating websites. They won't know as much about the people they're setting up as much as your friends or family know about you, so they're just going to rely on the basics of what's in their file, age, sex, occupation, hobbies. But that doesn't necessarily describe who YOU are. They also tend to charge a lot. One service online charges a minimum of $1000 for women and $50,000 for men! Even if they aren't all that pricey, that's crazy amounts of money. Matchmaking for dummies online says "Prices vary from almost nothing ($150) to $4,000 or more, depending on your city and the type of program involved. Good services cost at least $1,000 because of all the work involved and the cost to the company. Services go by time (one or two years) or by the number of matches you receive. Prices for personalized matchmaking services tend to be firm — and should stay firm." Also, at least from a woman's perspective, I think that matchmaking firms tend to be pretty sexist. It's about getting guys the hot, smart, perfect woman...but what about the guys? Are they also hot, smart and otherwise perfect or do they just have loads of money and that is supposed to make up for all other personality flaws? I read the book by Patti Stanger and her advice for women is, BE HOT. If you're not hot, become hot. And if you live in big cities like Los Angeles where everyone is an aspiring model or actress, move out of the city. I did not like her advice.
Anyhow, that's my bit about matchmaking.
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