I think first you have to respect yourself, you have to think you're worthy of respect before you can find someone who will respect you too. This is not a, "I'm so awesome" attitude but you have to think that you know, you are a good catch too. I think I've mentioned before the important of knowing who you are before you start dating, and I think this is part of that act of self improvement. So know that you're a good person (and work on it too b/c seriously, there are some deluded people out there!) then you can work on step two. Which is...Finding a person who respect you. What does this mean? It's not someone who'll like bake you a pie on command or dust your chess trophies. Respect in dating is someone who doesn't belittle you or your hobbies or your friends or family. It's someone who respects your time and calls if they're going to be late instead of being a flakey ass bastard. It's a person who calls when they say they will instead of calling five days after Comic Con instead of the day after then making lame excuses. I strongly believe that if someone says they're too busy to date, don't chase after then, then let them go, b/c everyone is busy, but if they really wanted to date they could make time. It's not worth forcing someone to date you.
Part of this is knowing how much BS you'll take from another person. Apparently I have a really low BS threshold b/c if someone says they're going to call and don't, they start heading down the drain towards my shit list and they better have a really good excuse, not some crap like, "Oh work's been crazy." Too busy to text, "Dude, I'm dying from being too busy!"?? Lame. My brother said you gotta give someone three chances. Well I don't believe in three chances... b/c when you start dating someone, that is your chance to impress someone and if you keep failing in the beginning, how crap is it going to be when you're not trying to impress them anymore and you're all lazy and complacent? The entire point is to initially impress them and set the bar high and then never live up to those standards again! haha, doh.
What kind of future can exist in a relationship that is not equal, not based on a partnership? If one of the people thinks that they are more important and that their time is most important, it's going to be a emotional and financial suckage in the short and long term. It's like dumping your energy into black hole or like trying to torture homer with donuts, it's just a losing proposition.
Lastly, I have to mention domestic violence. I'm no expert (although in a high school poll I was voted most likely to beat my spouse) but if you're in a relationship where they hit you or call you names or anything like that, that's a bad relationship. Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse is never ok and never justified. There's a lot of help available. This just one website http://www.ndvh.org/ and you call me and I'll go over and kick that person in the crotch.
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