self acceptance

I was going to put up another topic today but I had to write this one. I often pick my topics b/c of something I read on the internet but as you guys probably know, it's also from events and topics in my life or in my friend's or family's lives. So this one is a bit from current events but also from stuff that I learned a couple of years ago while in a deep deep funk after the dissolution of my second relationship (I don't regret the breakup at all, the guy was a douche, but I regret not realising it earlier!) and what followed which was a series of stupid decisions on my part and then figuring out I needed to get my shit together.

So here's some of the stuff I figured out with help from friends and family kicking me in the butt.

1) Change what you don't like about yourself. Don't want to be a rage-aholic anymore? Then work on it. Want to be more organized in your life. Work on it. Want to be a better dancer. Take a class. You might not always succeed and it might not always be easy, but don't sit around and whine about flaws if you're not working to fix them.

2) Accept things you can't change. You can't change how tall you are or what you look like (without the assistance of surgery anyhow) so you might as well accept it. Don't like your sister? Unless you're going to totally stop seeing her, learn to be civil for a couple of hours. Stressing over this type of stuff doesn't help. You can plan to get out of those situations but for the moment if you can't do anything about it, don't get yourself all worked up all the time.

2b) Embrace what you got left. Even if these are not necessarily great traits by real world standards. I like being rather blunt (some friends would say disturbingly honest) so even though it could be considered a negative, I have made it part of my group of characteristics. Same as being a nerd. I've learned to embrace it. So do you larp? Be proud! In Role Models, Augie Farks played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin'!) is a LARP nerd and what I really appreciated about the movie is that they didn't make him want to be a nerd who wanted to be cool like in so many other movies like Pretty in Pink or She's All That or the Lucas (this is my friend's suggestion, I don't recall the movie at all). Embrace your oddities! And if you don't, change them!

To pull an example from Big Bang Theory, Sheldon is happy being who is he (Well he's happy by Sheldon measures). He doesn't care if he's weird, he's good at being himself, so geek, physicist, anime, sci-fi, ren faire nerd, gamer, he's cool with all those titles. Leonard on the other hand is less happy. He is similar to Leonard in that they share a lot of the same interests but while he enjoys classic video game night, it always seems that he wants more. Well he wants Penny but he thinks that in order to get Penny he kinda has to be a different person. He wants to be cool like the douchebag physicist that Penny dated and later found out was married (played by BSG's Anders!). He hasn't accepted who he is yet, which is a comic book reading, D&D playing, time machine purchasing hardcore geek. BTW, I think Penny does like him and while she's had issues with his nerdity, it's more about her own self insecurity rather than his nerdiness that drove them apart initally.

Here's a list of unapologetic characters and they tend to be pretty badass:
Sue Sylvester from Glee
Jack Bauer from 24
Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You
Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Mal Reynolds from Firefly (he's got a lot of issues but he doesn't apologise for what he is)
Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory (not really badass but he is most people's favorite character)
Do these characters have flaws? Of course they do, as all people have flaws but you change what you don't like about yourself, accept what you can't change, and embrace the parts you keep.

Oh, I guess the other word for what I'm describing here is confidence. :D HAHA! Nerds and confidant aren't like often used together, maybe that's why I didn't think of it earlier.

So anyhow, in conclusion, what's the key lesson? It's ok to be a douche but then don't get mad if people call you one. ;P B/c if you're ok with who you are, the truth shouldn't hurt.