Moving Beyond Your Past

We all make mistakes. In fact I think I've made more mistakes than right choices sometimes. However, there is one thing I do right and that is, I try not to make the same mistakes twice. Key word here, TRY.

So here's a classic scenario which isn't even limited to nerds, it strikes all types of people. Person goes out with someone, they turn out to be nutso and a half. After one billion years, they break up (doesn't really matter who did the dumping in this scenario). Then after an undisclosed amount of time, the person starts dating another person...and this person is a wackjob just like the crazy ex!

What happened here? The person did not learn from their mistakes. After a break up, it's important to evaluate the relationship and the ups and downs honestly. And after you figure out what you liked and didn't like, try to find someone who has qualities you like and doesn't have the ones that drive you nuts. This should be a pretty reasonable simple thing, but dude, sooooo many people keep dating the same kind of crazy person (girl) over and over and over.

I at least learned that I was attracted to sarcastic jerks...and that while I thought they were hilarious, it wasn't good for a stable healthy relationship. So I made sure to not date jerks. It's that easy! Although sometimes it takes a while to realise someone is bad, once you do, don't keep tossing your energy, time, money, youth at them, go find someone else!

A couple other things to remember; dating an ex is possibly worse than continuing to date the same type of crazy person...b/c you're dating exactly the same crazy person you were before. What did you think would happen the second time? Unless they miraculously completely changed, I think going back is bad idea. Why did you break up in the first place? If it wasn't something like, we were young and her family moved, but something like she cheated on me, then you have to think about whether the past is going to predict the future. I think a lot of of people get back with exes b/c they're lonely and when they think about their ex, they're just remembering the happy times they had...well yeah, except there were a ton of craptacular times too, so pull off the rosecolored glass/beer goggles. It's not going to be a less bumpy ride this time.

Celebrity examples of getting back with an ex, Elizabeth Taylor who married the same guy twice and divorced him twice. Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, Amy Winehouse (dude, she's a trainwreck), Eminem, the list goes on. What does this list tell us, that people who get back with their exes are nuts. I mean people are nuts for other reason but this is a good one. None of these celebrities are known for their healthy (or sober) behavior.

Also, learn from others. Look at your friends and see how their relationships are...or if they're single, maybe think about why they're single. Probably don't tell them why you think they're single b/c they'll think you're a douchebag but if you don't care like me, tell them anyways. :P You don't personally have to make every mistake. If you friend dates a jerk who calls her names, don't chat up the guy in your office who calls other people names, (b/c he can be a jerk other people names, he's capable of being a jerk to you). You don't have to date a jerk to know one.

There is a quote, the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results each time. That's crazy. A bird pecks at a button, and each time food comes out, but then to suddenly expect water to come out the next time would be nuts. Things don't work that way. If you keep dating crazy party girls, expect them to be crazy and party. If you date a homebody, they're going to want to stay at home. You date emotionally unstable people, your relationship is going to be unstable. You keep cheating on your partners, you're going to get dumped repeatedly...or punched in the crotch.

Have I repeated myself enough times by now??? Quit making the same stupid mistakes over and over. Fin.