From an article on CNN.
Here's the article.
I think one of the themes that runs through this dating blog is self improvement. No one is perfect, there are always things we could working on to make ourselves better people. This article talks about what happens if you find the "one" but you aren't the "one" for them? The author says it's important to work on these four aspects to make sure you are as ready as possible to get out there and find your partner: self esteem, attitude, happiness and kindness/compassion.
You need self-esteem b/c it's hard to like someone who doesn't like themselves. If someone is always putting themself down, and not in a funny Conan O'Brien way, you just don't want to be around that. Or someone who doesn't respect themself enough to take care of their body, by using drugs or drinking to excess or can't shower regularly. Really, that's no good either. So work on taking care of yourself, and remembering you are a worthy person...and maybe you need to work on some stuff, but you can still like yourself, even if you're not perfect. Just don't too far over the other side and become a douche. Oh and showering is important.
Attitude is another important aspect. We geeks can be pretty cynical and sarcastic, it's part of our charm, but a lot of people might not understand our sense of humor and think we're emo. Emo is ok if you're like 15. Emo is not ok when you're in your 30s. It's supposed to be emo-kid, not emo-man. So if you're still super emo, think about why and what you can do to not be emo. Is your job dragging you down? Start looking for things that do make you happy including looking for another job! Love life got you down? Well that's just circular, you are emo b/c you can't find someone but your emo-ness is keeping good people away!
It's important to be able to be happy. Not like Pollyanna where you are happy all the time. I'm talking about being able to feel joy when good things do happen. It's really annoying being around people and you tell them good news and they're like 'meh'. Dude, it's great news! I'm enthused, why can't you be enthused too? People like to be around happy people. If you saw two crowds of people and one was full of smiling, laughing people and the other was full of mopey people, MOST people would go to the happy crowd. Some nerds might go the mopey crowd to avoid having to talk to people but generally we gravitate towards people with positive energy. Try to be one of those people with positive energy and people will come to you more.
And very importantly, it's important to be a kind person. I think this is something that sounds very cliche, "oh I want a nice guy." But it's really not too much to ask for. You want someone who genuinely cares about others b/c they will be a good person. Do you care about others? If your whole life only revolves around you, then what do you have to offer someone else in the long term? Kindness means you can empathize. Even if you're not working in a food bank every weekend, at least be polite to your waitstaff at restaurants. I think true kindness and compassion are about the little things like saying please and thank you and packing a lunch rather than buying someone jewelry. Moral of this story? Don't be a self absorbed douche and think about how you and your actions affect others.
I think if you work on improving yourself, even little by little, I think that more people will be able to see how great our geeky qualities are and that we're great people.
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