We've all seen it before, there's a new person at work/school/in your club and she's single, nice, and breathing, therefore you're interested in her. You send her some I Can Has Cheezeburger pictures, and go to lunch a couple of times. You hang out occasionally, perhaps in a group or just alone, but only as buddies. But you're lying to her, b/c you don't want to be buddies, you want to date her. What then happens is the worst thing ever b/c for whatever reason, she can't/won't date you. And then you drop her like someone just put a big piece of poop in your hands. Obviously, she's probably going to be pretty upset b/c she realises that you never wanted to be her friend, just trying to pull a fast one on her.
Now if she hasn't been pulling a "fake boyfriend" on you, what you've done just now, is you done her wrong. You acted like her friend, and b/c she's not sexually interested in you, you move onto the next target. She thought you guys were friends, she treated you like a real friend. Friends don't do that to each other. It's dishonest and douchey. She likes you as a person and by now ignoring her, you make it clear that you weren't interested in her as a person or a friend, only as a goal. Now before a bunch of guys start rioting and saying I'm not being fair, let's take dating out of the equation and use another version of this story.
There's a new guy at work, he's cool, funny guy and he's got a really cool car. You make friends with him b/c you want to borrow his car later. You guys hang out, watch movies together, have some beers together but only b/c you want him to think you're cool so you can borrow his car. Later you ask him if he can borrow you car, he says no. You stop hanging out with him. In what ways have you not been douchetastic? What you're doing here is being nice to someone under false pretenses. You have no intention of being their friend. You want something from them. This is wrong. We've all learning in kindergarten that lying is bad, and straight up, this is lying.
If you want to get to know someone better, that's cool, do that. Hang out with them. And if you ask them out and they say no, you don't have to be their best friend, but don't ignore them, don't act like you don't know that person. B/c your goal should be to get to know people, and if they get to know you and like you back in a bf/gf kind of way, awesome. But sometimes they'll just like you as a friend and that should be ok too. Be their friend, don't be the douche.
And not like the guy I'm writing this response to will ever read this but dude, doing this (what I've been writing about) and then immediately moving onto the next single girl at work is really in poor form. Plus they're going to talk to each other and you're going to totally build a reputation for being a jerk.
Wow, I'm like super mad about this topic...I guess b/c I have a ton of guy friends and if this happened to me I'd be soooo hurt. Ok, I just talked to some friends about this situation and they said it's pretty ass behavior. My friend added that guys who do stuff like this tend to say, "What have I been doing wrong? I'm always so nice to these girls and they don't like me." Well technically you're not being nice, you're only pretending to be nice and there's a big difference between being nice and pretending.
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