Time Management

When you're just starting a relationship, you're all excited, and you generally want to spend every waking moment with that person. Your friends hate how cute and clingy you are. This is normal. It's a typical honeymoon phase but eventually reality sets in and you start wondering if all that clinginess is normal.

Well it depends on the couple. Some couples just do everything together, they go grocery shopping together, they visit friends as a couple, they give each other welcome back hugs when they come back from the restroom. These are cute annoying people and as long as both of them are fine with this, then there is nothing wrong as long as you don't drive your friends nuts. A classic tv example of this type of couple is Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. They want to know everything that the other person did, and they want to do everything together. This arrangement works for them. It would not work for me...I dunno if I'd want to spend24/7 with anybody, except maybe for my dog. :P

But problems can occur when one person wants to cling and the other wants alone time or like a "boy's/girl's night out". At no time is this more annoying when you're playing D&D and the other person keeps calling during the game. They know where you are and what you're doing, but they didn't want to come to the game, but instead want to call every hour or so. I think this is an excellent example of why boundaries need to be established in a relationship. Boundaries are important. (My one boundary with my parents, don't bother me in the bathroom. See, important!) If it is known that a set amount of time is going to be dedicated to an event, I think it's fair to not have to check in constantly during that time. If time runs over and you're massively late, then definitely call and let the other person know but this should be a time for both of you to enjoy your away time. Also having to check in constantly (esp if the other person isn't like home sick or anything) will just result in your friends making a lot whip cracking noises...b/c yeah, why are they calling so much? If they really want to check up on you, they should just go with you to the game and like read a book.

So what to do about this? Make sure that you don't do everything together. As much as you guys like each other, you're also two individuals. Especially if you work and live together, make sure that you still find time apart just so you remember what it's like to be on your own. Establish some things that you can do apart and both have fun. Say if one of you watched football, then the other person can establish a video game day on Sundays. Don't necessarily do chores b/c if one of you is having fun and other is working, I think that can lead to a lot of resentment. And resentment leads to arguing and arguing leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. (Yoda is so wise his sayings have a much broader application than just jedis!)

Note: scheduled time apart is not the same as like breaking up each weekend so you're free to play the field...and second of all if you had that much game as a geek, you're not really a geek, plus you're a pretty giant douche.

The key to harmoniously being together or not being together is to understand what the other person's needs are and work out a plan that is far to everyone. So what's the word again?? Communication. :)