Settling

To settle or not to settle, that is the question. I think that this is something that girls have to deal with more often than guys but it’s really applicable for both genders.

(And to someone who might read this, don’t read between the lines, I’m just reporting what I read in this article! :))

The author of “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” has been getting a lot of flack for her book. This is an article about her book. I guess people are upset at being told to “settle” when it comes to their partners and they don’t like it. Now I have not read this book, but I did just put it on hold from the library so I’ll report what I think when I’m done with it, so I’m going to talk about what I think about this topic.

I think the key is to not settle but to have realistic expectations from a relationship. I think I mentioned this before, but I think I’ve seen a lot of people who are single not b/c they’re not totally awesome people but they have a really long checklist of things that they want in their future partner. Some of these things are important, things like, they should respect you, respect themselves, not hit you, have some sort of goals for the future, things like that. Criteria like, they have to be blond surfing gods with a house in Malibu and makes six figures is probably not a realistic expectation. So, it’s not settling if you are realistic b/c then you’re getting what you want, but what you want is more attainable.

From what I’ve seen and what the author of the book says is that guys tend to be less insanely picky in general when they’re dating. She says that guys tend to be ok with going on a second date with a girl who’s fun to talk to, they consider cute, and seems nice. While women (including me) might go through a checklist of required items any of which might disqualify a guy from any further contact.

It appears that Hollywood has distorted what a real person and a real relationship looks like. There are all these crazy romantic ideas and expectations and as much as you might love Nottinghill you have to remember that it’s not real. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect and even the best relationships don’t always run smoothly.

Yes, this is broad and generalizing but what you should take away from this is, don’t lower your standards, but make them reasonable standards instead and that should work out better in the long run.

Now the question is, did Starbuck and Apollo settle when they married other people? Dun dun dun! Poor Dee!