After your picture, the profile is probably the next thing a person is going to see. The profile has to convey several points, who you are, what you are looking for in a partner and relationship, and what your hopes and dreams are for the future. If your profile isn’t doing those things, then it could be harder to find someone since they can’t tell as much about you, and what you’re looking for. Maybe if you had mentioned that you love baking and the Food Network (I almost typed Foot Network, that’d be a weird station), she would have messaged. You don’t want to miss this opportunity to share who you are with another person.
Generally people start their profiles with a short “about me” paragraph. I think these are very tricky b/c you’re trying to represent yourself in just a few sentences. But you think, “I can’t possibly be described in five sentences, I’m a complex life form!” Well that’s true, but I think here is the time to look inside yourself and figure out who you are at the core. She doesn’t need to know that you collect legos at this time, but if you are a lego artist, you can share that you have an artistic soul, etc etc.
I think a lot of people fall into the trap of, “I am a student” or “I am an engineer” and that should somehow define you. I guess if you’re like a nun where your job is also your life, then that’s cool, use that, but I would hope that you are more than just what you do to earn money. (If you're a nun, why are you dating? Aren't you already married to God?)
Similarly people also list their hobbies. I don't think a giant list of hobbies is a great thing...despite the fact I do that in my profiles don't do it. I’m a geek girl so I have the luxury of being lazier than geek guys. This is an unfair but true fact. As geeks we often define ourselves by our particular brand of geek, Star Trek, Star Wars, Cosplay/Anime, Movie, Tolkein, Furry (oh god, don’t get me started on furries), Gamers of all shapes and colors, Comic Book, I could go on forever. And while this is a good way to communicate with other geeks, I think it’s important to describe ourselves in different terms. What is it about the hobby that you like? Do you like fantasy b/c of the classical archetypes found in legends? Do you play games for the competition and camaraderie? Do you get really cold so you need to wear giant bunny suits? I’m not saying, lie, I’m saying, you are more than a collection of interests. Also don’t sound too obsessive about your hobbies, even if you are. Now is not the time to share your love of Stormtrooper cosplay (unless you’re on a geek dating site, in which case that’s hot).
Another section of your profile should be about what kind of person you are looking for. But be realistic here. If you’re a shy homebody who likes to stay home and play video games on weekends, an outgoing hiker might not be your best match. Even if they sound exciting and fun. Be realistic about what kind of person you think would be a good match for who you are now, b/c dating someone exciting and fun doesn’t necessarily make you exciting and fun. (not that there’s anything wrong with being not exciting nor fun, b/c I am that giant homebody who’d rather play video games.) Don’t be afraid to state what you’re looking for in a person and in a relationship. Sometimes people are wishy-washy when they state what kind of partner they want like, “someone to laugh with”, well crap, that’s vague. How about something like, “I want a partner who will laugh at cheesy horror films with me.”
(Continued in tomorrow's post! A friend said they're too long and I should post more often. So I'm breaking this up into two parts!)
1 comment:
Great post! The emphasis on telling the truth and being yourself is so key. Keep pimpin!
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