The best kind of first messages are ones that show you have a sincere interest in the other person and not just their body. Try to mention any common hobbies or other similarities you have and why you like what you do without sounding like you’re copying their profile hobby for hobby. You want to sound friendly, conversational, and confident without being overbearing. Think of it as a marketing, you have a product (yourself) and you want the other person to “buy” it by making yourself look good and convincing us that it’s something that we should have an interest in.
I also wanted to tell you about the probably the worst possible thing you could possibly do in a first message. Threaten the girl. Which really did happen to me. I received three separate messages from a guy who obviously had a form message he was sending out to any girl on his match list. I deleted the messages which is a shame b/c here’s the gist of his messages, “Hi, My name is Blah. Message me back…or else.”
I did write back after the third message, and I said, “Welcome to my blocked list.” So ok, again use commonsense and don’t threaten people.
So in summary, don’t be a sleaze, don’t threaten, don’t use generic messages (you don’t use them for cover letters!), sound like you’re taking an genuine interest in the person, spellcheck, proofread, and sell yourself in a positive manner. Oh and don't let a little rejection or no replies get you down. The entire point of online dating is that you're trying to meet more people and so don't get fixated on one person. If you don't hear back from someone, reevaluate your situation, see if there's anything that you could have done better (but don't dwell on this, nerds can be dwellers) and move on.
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