Crafting a Profile (part 2)

Hello readers and fellow geeks! This the second half of my post on Crafting a Profile. Which really sounds fancier than what it really is, which boils down to, don't sound like a douche. :P

I would also put a section of what you hope to be doing in the future if you’re looking for a long term relationship. If you’re still in school, talk about what kind of career you’re shooting for, what kind of lifestyle you’d like to have, where you might want to be living. If you’re working, then talk about what your career goals are--do you want to be CEO, want a job that allows you to travel a bunch, etc. I like eharmony b/c it includes a little box on if you want kids or not. Since that’s pretty important to me, I like preknowing b/c then I don’t end up dating some guy who doesn’t have the same life plan as me. Maybe that’s too much information, but I’m like the queen of TMI. :P That part is probably not as necessary but if you’re also on eharmony don’t check “maybe” you want kids if you mean “no”. Guys do things like that all the time b/c they don’t want to sound all rejecty but I don’t want to read “maybe” and hear a “yes” in my head when you really mean “no”. (There will be more on what yes/no/maybe means in a later article.)

For some examples of good profiles you can go to http://geeksdreamgirl.com/onlinedatinghelp/ and look at the different levels of services they provide b/c she has a “before” about me summary and an “after” about me summary in each level. You can look at those for examples. I’m not advocating that you pay someone to write your profile, in fact I actively discourage it b/c if I was a girl that was contacted with a profile that was not originally written by you and with her highest level of service, she’ll actually contact people for you, and I found out that it wasn’t you? I’d be really pissed, b/c I’d want to be contacted by the person who the profile is representing. And if you’re too busy to find someone, then I think you’re probably too busy to date too. Lastly on this point, this kinda thing has the been the plot of many movies and plays, (Cyrano de Bergerac/Roxanne, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, to name two) and they always fall in love with the author, not the profile (so if you want that person to fall in love with the lady on geeksdreamgirl, go ahead, it's your doom). So my point here, write your own profile and contact your own people. Sure get someone to read over your stuff, but like when you wrote essays in school, you need to initially write it and then you can ask people to fix things.


Final Tips:

• Be honest.

• Be not creepy (this may conflict with being honest but try).

• Spell check it and have a friend check for things spell check doesn’t catch and grammar too. This is super important. If you spell check a resume for a job, and this is arguably more important than a job, then you should definitely check your spelling here.

• Don’t use text speak. No one wants to read a profile that sounds like an illiterate teenager wrote it. Here’s an article about why text speak is so not cool anymore. (for some reason the link totally doesn't work, but go here: http://futurethinktank.com/2008/12/10/is-txt-spk-ovr/ )

• Don’t sound crazy intense. This is true for if you’re talking about yourself or hobbies. Here’s an excellent example of too intense. “Hopeless romantic in that when I love, I love with all I have. Like it says above, 110%. Not everyone can handle it, but I have proven myself to the ones who could. Some many times over.” It might be true, but you don’t want to come across as someone who will axe murder you if the relationship goes south.

• Don’t be too self-deprecating. I know we nerds like to mock ourselves, but in text, that kind of humor doesn’t translate well, and it sounds like we’re bitter and depressed. And basically if we can’t say anything positive about ourselves, why should they date us?

• Be a little witty and funny but don’t try too hard (sound confusing enough?). Also the written word is not a good vehicle for sarcasm. Sarcasm often ends up making the person sound like a jerk (trust me, I know this first hand.)

• And finally, I think it should sound a bit like a narrative. Sentences should flow, and ideas should not ram up against each other. If it sounds jarring, then you sound a bit crazy.


Also you all need to be reading OkCupid’s blog. (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/about/) They talk about a lot of interesting topics, like response rates by race, religion, attractiveness. The topics aren’t always pretty to hear about, but the world isn’t always pretty.

Ok, that's all I currently have on writing your profile!